On Death and Dying

Of course, the infamous Kubler-Ross novel released in the 60's about the 5 stages of grief, by which our whole understanding of coping with death and other life-altering changes are based.

While I'm sure these authors are extremely learned people, I am skeptical of their theory. Maybe because of this theory we search so hard for these stages that we try to see them in everyone that grieves. And what happens when someone doesn't go through any of these stages? Surely there must be something wrong with them!

I also feel, those themselves that are grieving search for these signs to almost ensure that they are "on track," through the entire process. Because if you don't go through these stages you must not be able to heal correctly, or heal at all for that matter.

It's this uber prescriptivist mentality of western thought that I think could be holding us back from truly understanding each other. As it stands, I don't think that humans are very good at understanding one another. We have all these pre-concieved notions about how we should and should not 'be' and meanings behind every single behaviour that it clouds our true knowledge of those around us.

DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, ACCEPTANCE. Now it has been noted that these stages do not necessarily need to follow this order. But, it is certainly only acceptable to end with acceptance. And how long is too long to spend in any one of those categories?

As humans, we love to categorize. Categorizing puts us at ease (even if your category is deranged psycho killer, all is well as long as we can identify your category). Perhaps that's why we are so far removed from one another and understanding 'us' at the essence of our being. Maybe next time around the humans will get it right.