I feel like I have been broken into a thousand little pieces and I can't put myself back together. This sounds melodramatic, but I've never felt like this so I don't really know how else to describe it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I go to pick up a piece to put myself back in order but its heavy and full of emotion and it hurts to reattach it, so I put it back down. I have tried everything. I try to pick up the piece and not think about it, I pick up the piece and invest myself in it, I go long periods of time trying to pretend that there aren't any pieces that even need picking up, I've swept them under the bed, I've tried to distract myself that they exist.
I definitely believed myself to be a much stronger person than this. I guess I'm not. But I would give a hell of a lot not to feel this way, but it doesn't work that way does it? It's quite lonely here, despite my distraction, and my friends, and my attempts to keep busy beyond reason. Everyone says this type of stuff gets easier with time, so why does it feel like it's getting harder? I'm more confused and more exhausted and more distant than I was last week, or the week before that, and the week before that.
I want more than anything to be able to pick up all of my pieces in a pain free way, but I'm not sure if that's possible.
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