Androgynous

I am not a fan of rap, but when it comes to EMINEM, he's not that bad. I was recently uploading his recovery album to my computer and had a little flip through the front cd pocket. I found this picture and the image struck me.

I find in this picture his features to be very androgynous. While if you look at the photo closely you can discern that he is in fact a male. But if you look at it and did not know who he was, it looks find of like a topless female.

I don't know a lot about EMINEM so I'm not sure if this photo was done in this way intentionally or I just happened to notice and think that he looks androgynous in this pic. Maybe I'm far too immersed in my gender studies but to me it looks as though it could pass for some type of sociopolitical artistic commentary on males//females...

I can't

You're sitting there in front of me
As pretty as can be
So why is what I feel inside,
not in harmony?

I know you're falling fast,
but how hard I cant say,
I don't know what you'd ever want,
with me anyway.

I thought I'd made it clear,
of what was going on here.

Let's just cut the crap,
this shouldn't be an act

Just tell me what you want to say,
so I know if I need to be on my way.

Lets bring it back...(Book 1: HPATPS)

Since I went off Harry Potter a few weeks ago I have been experiencing a need and desire to keep it in my life. So I plan to. A number of years ago my best friend and I (both avid Harry Potter fans), were sitting at the kitchen table and jumped into some dialogue. As many of you know, the world and people of harry potter are quite easy to make fun of, especially in the dialogical form.

So I'm going to try and continue this legacy here, as we did it quite often and I'm still immature enough to engage in such tomfoolery. Because my last set of hp's were so organized, I'm going to try to do the same thing again. I shall begin with the first book and post one narrative at a time. I know reading this type of thing isn't ideal but I'm going to give it a try to see how it goes...

SCENE: Harry (HP) enters into Ollivander's (GO) to purchase his wand in Diagon Alley.

GO: I'd been wondering when I was going to see you Mr Potter.

HP: Wait why? Do I know you? I'm not supposed to speak to strangers. Actually, I'm not allowed to speak at all. If I do I get sent to my cupboard without any dinner.

GO: Right. Well Sonny, why don't we just fix you up with a wand?

HP: A wand? Like for magic? Did you know I'm a wizard?

GO: Well of course you're a wizard. Goodness gracious with parents like yours I'd have thought you'd have been a touch brighter sonny. No matter, try this one.

(Harry takes the wand and proceeds to wreck a number of Ollivander's things. This goes on for a number of wands)

HP: Perhaps sir I'm not meant to be a wand carrier?

GO: Why don't be silly boy, you're Harry Potter. No matter, I think this one may do the trick.

(Harry takes the wand and magic happens)

GO: Curious, very curious.

HP: Sir, what's curious.

GO: I remember every wand I've ever sold Mr Potter. The study of wandlore is a tricky branch of magic. Any wandmaker will tell you that the wand chooses the wizard. I'm sure we can expect great things from you Mr Potter. After all, He who must not be named did great things. Terrible, but great.

HP: But sir I still don't understand.

GO: Harry m'boy. Your wands brother gave you that very scar.

HP: No sir that's not right. My parents died in a car crash and that's how I got this neat-o scar.

GO: Mr Potter you are quite mistaken. For he-who-must-not-be-named did that to you.

HP: Who is this not namer? I must know immediately and then prove his inferiority by using his name whenever I can.

GO: That's not wise Mr Potter. While I'm sure we can expect great things from you with this wand, you'd never be able to do any of the great things that the dark lord did.

HP: Why does that even matter? Sir I don't understand. I'm so confused.

GO: Why don't you just get one of your parents to explain it.

HP: I can't. They're dead. God. No sympathy in the wizarding world. BROOD.


So, after having read this I see that the whole dialogue thing doesn't really work so well via reading. I'll try a few more and if they don't come together, no matter, I'm no worse off.

green eyes

Coldplay is probably one of my favourite bands, and this song is probably on of my favourites by them:

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes
Green eyes

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand

reverse reverse

I don't often watch television so I haven't ever really thought about commercials in awhile. I kind of had a realization on this topic and I feel quite stupid for not having thought of it before. Rather than the advertising filling the places between the show, its the show that's filling the spaces between the advertising.

Of course the advertising industry is giagantuan so why wouldn't they be the ones in charge of the whole thing? Now of course I understand that the show is what draws the viewer to the tv in the first place, but once they're there, the commercials are in the drivers seat. The show simply fills the time in between until you can be bombarded again by carefully calculated advertisements that have been through focus groups, and psychologist testing, and everything under the sun to be sure that they are marketing to the correct demographic.

Personally, if I worked in the tv industry I would feel really shitty about my job after figuring this out. The show is simply the draw to get the correct audience to view commercials. I guess in the grand scheme of things this concept doesn't really matter since I suppose it's been like this for a long time, its just an interesting way of thinking about it.

Since I don't really watch tv at all this doesn't affect me. But, they have added advertisements in front of just about every youtube video (that has been professionally licensed) and small clips on websites such as the bbc which sucks balls. oh blurg.

The forgeteries

Do you ever make a note about something and then come back to it later and have no idea what it's referring to? I do it all the time. In fact, I just recently looked through my notes on my cell phone, one of which is fairly recent and the other rather oldish.

The first and older note simply says: bionicarm. To my knowledge I have no recollection of making this note, however I'm assuming it has something to do with either robots or a really strong robotic arm.

The second and really quite recent note (I believe I put it in my phone within the last couple of weeks) say: Dark wizards with interludes of comedic relief. Now I do remember writing this one. I was half asleep (I was on my way to a peaceful slumber), when all of the sudden this fully formed idea (which I now can remember for the life of me) popped into my head. I remember thinking it was an amazing idea and that I should write a note so I would remember it. For some reason I seemed to believe that dark wizards with interludes of comedic relief would somehow jog my memory on the idea come morning time. Obviously I was sorely mistaken.

I really hope that both of these things eventually come to me because I wouldn't have written them down if they weren't important. Maybe my remembery will kick in so I can set dark wizards into action.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 7 of 7)

Alas, I have finally made it through my harry potter adventure! I must say I feel much more British now. Nope, only joking.

I remember like it was yesterday, waiting in line at Chapters for the final novel of Harry Potter, rushing home to read it and then discuss it in a mini book club at work on Monday.

For the last installment, not bad. We certainly do see those harryisms shining through right til the last novel. Hermione doesn't disappoint and successfully manages to get the three of them out of countless near death experiences. Harry is broody as always, especially when he wears the Horcrux and remembers all the things that make him the chosen one (oh my god. this is so unfair. ol dumbly left me with nothing. NOTHING. i hate my life, i must not tell lies, arghgha everything makes me feel angsty. I dont even like stewed mushrooms, i also dont like this new blackthorn wand it doesnt work properly...aaahh hollllly and phoenix featherrrrrr).

In the 7th book, JK provides us with one of the best chapters she has ever written in her life: The Prince's Tale. Since Severus Snape is obviously the best character in all of Harry Potter to get his story is a treat like none other. Everything makes sense after you read this chapter and then your love of snape grows 10 fold.

While I understand why she wrote the 19 years later chapter, it was still pretty sucky. It seemed very 'lets tie it all together in a neat and tidy way'. I mean obviously Hermione and Ron were going to be together, but I was personally never a big fan of ginny and harry together. But I suppose that the harry-ginny ron-hermione route was an easy one for her to take and it made sense and she didn't want to write any other HP novels so it was a necessary evil.

In terms of the movies, when it was first announced that they planned on dividing up the 7th novel into 2 parts I must admit I was quite excited. I believed that finally they would be able to not skip out on any of the details and that they would be just like the books. Well I was 50% right. The first movie I have very few complaints. My only issue would probably be the part with Kreacher at Grimauld place. They didn't really play up his importance in the movie and his connection to Regulus and the locket. Also I found the elves and goblins to look far too human like. In the earlier volumes they looked very goblin and elfish but in the final 2 movies their features were surprisingly human-like. Other than that the movie was virtually by the book.

The 7th installment part 2, oh man, huge disaster. Considering they had very little to still cover you would think it wouldn't be hard for them to stick to the book. So much was different unnecessarily. At the end when Harry kills Voldy they are by themselves amongst ruins outside of the castle. This is only one example, but they barely make this battle out to be the epicness that it actually was. Whatever, it was a horrible end to a movie series that could have been epic as fuck.

1000 piece puzzle

I feel like I have been broken into a thousand little pieces and I can't put myself back together. This sounds melodramatic, but I've never felt like this so I don't really know how else to describe it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I go to pick up a piece to put myself back in order but its heavy and full of emotion and it hurts to reattach it, so I put it back down. I have tried everything. I try to pick up the piece and not think about it, I pick up the piece and invest myself in it, I go long periods of time trying to pretend that there aren't any pieces that even need picking up, I've swept them under the bed, I've tried to distract myself that they exist.

I definitely believed myself to be a much stronger person than this. I guess I'm not. But I would give a hell of a lot not to feel this way, but it doesn't work that way does it? It's quite lonely here, despite my distraction, and my friends, and my attempts to keep busy beyond reason. Everyone says this type of stuff gets easier with time, so why does it feel like it's getting harder? I'm more confused and more exhausted and more distant than I was last week, or the week before that, and the week before that.

I want more than anything to be able to pick up all of my pieces in a pain free way, but I'm not sure if that's possible.

I am Woman

Lately I have been grappling a lot with my ideas surrounding feminisms, femininity, and what it means to be a woman. I'm not sure if I necessarily agree with the things that I hear and discuss in my classes.

I am proud to be a young woman, though I don't think I have found my voice yet. My classmates often seems so sure that they have found this voice and are coming to terms with their feminisms. I don't know if this puts me behind the times, but I don't think that I'll be ale to find this voice of reason in my studies.

Education is a crucial component in the development of many ideas, but as I move forward into the next portion of my life I can't help but wonder if the ideas I've been working with for the past 4 years have been worthwhile. They have certainly given me insight into different ways of thinking, but I'm not sure how I feel about them now.

Most of the feminist thinking that I have been exposed to has been collectively oriented. Collectivity is an important aspect to any movement, however I doubt that each women in this movement is looking within. Over the last few weeks I have come to the conclusion that my femininity and femalenesss needs to fought with an decided at a very personal level. With that in mind, I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I can exist and be in life.

I have decided to begin this journey at a rather crude and haphazard level: the body. While I know this is rather cliche in within the realm of feminist and gender studies, I feel as though if I begin here I'll be able to gain a deeper meaning and understanding of my femaleness if I begin at a tangible level.

How do I plan on doing this? While I have certainly been doing a lot of thinking on the matter, I have also decided that writing will also be an effective vehicle for me to work through ideas. For most of my life I have really hated on poetry, however this has recently been eradicated as I have begun reading much more avant-garde poems. One such example of this is blueprint. One of my friends recently gave me copy of blueprint (a mag//zine type of journal). As he handed me the copy I saw that the issue was entitled: FEMININITY. I must say I was originally a little disappointed, but after having read through it, I was looking at many of the poetic stories with a new found appreciation.

I am going to try out some poetry of my own in hopes that it will bring me closer to who I am as woman. When I pluck up the courage, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll post a poem here.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Part 6 of 7)

After having re-read the 6th installment of Harry Potter I am truly torn between which novel I prefer, the 4th or the 6th. Both are phenomenal books that outstripe all others in the series.

JK really delves into many character's stories in this novel, similar to the way she did in the 4th one. The latest and greatest of those characters, Professor Horace Slughorn the new potions master at Hogwarts. JK really goes to lengths to be sure his character is thoroughly developed so we understand the reasons for his return to Hogwarts.

In this novel we also get a closer look at Draco Malfoy (Harry's arch nemesis- o0o0o0o). I must say I have always quite enjoyed Draco as a character and I'm glad he had a more prominent role in this novel. Harry's obsession with him at times does become a little over the top (harry: omg draco malfo. he's up to no good again. oh dear looks as though i've just jizzed in my pants again. draco draco draco. Hermione: god harry why don't you just get a room with draco, he's all you talk about. its almost as bad as won won and lav). I mean just because times are tough doesn't mean draco's being a bad boy in the room of requirement harry, maybe he just needs some peace and quiet to sort out his feelings for our ol pal voldy.

I digress. Quiddich plays a pretty big role in this book, basically because quiddich is pretty bomb diggity (and not that fake quiddich they play at university campuses across the country, real quiddich). Obviously Harry has been made captain as he was all pouty about not being made prefect the previous year. Anyway, the turn of events that take place within the land of quiddich this year are pretty interesting as Harry doesn't even play the final, which I must say was an interesting twist on JK's part.

The lessons with Dumbledore. Amazingly written. JK really had her A-game on when she did these bits. Everything comes together so well and the reader is immersed into Voldy's world like never before. We now know the true extent to which Harry's world is entangled with Voldy's and how much is riding on lil Harry's shoulders as he enters the next section of his magical journey.

Now, the movie is arguably the worst of the bunch. Once again the watcher is left with little to no information about the importance of various events. The memory that Harry retrieves from Slughorn is so poorly done and by the end of the whole endeavour all we know about Voldy is that before he was all snake-like he had long eyelashes. The watcher has no idea of the importance of Horcruxes really, and half of what happens in Dumbledore's lessons with Harry never happened in the book (Dumbledore: oh harry is hermione you girlfriend? harry: well no professor, she would be won wons but hes all tied up with lavie and im all broody because i have a crush on ginerva but shes all snoggy snoggy with dean thomas, who's normally my friend but right now im all jealy of him because he's got the girl. I mean doesn't anybody know i'm the chosen one? Whats the point of being such a celebrity if all the best girls are taken? gawd dumbly don't you know anything? angst angst ANGST!! nobody understands meeee!! Dumbly: oh gosh harry it seems like you've got a lot of emotions pent up in there, let them out young boy, let them out. by the way, im also a homosexual so none of this new fangled heterosexuality never made much sense to me).

Then another random happening but not happening when Ginny and Harry go put his Half Blood Prince book in the room of requirement despite his emotionally attachments to it. Ooo harry take my hand, lets go hide the book. O00oo let have sex in the room of requirement. we shouldn't tell won won though or he'll shit bricks. Ahh whatever, reminiscing about this is making me quite agitated. it ends now.

Klappar

This is Klappar. He is the best giraffe in the entire world. Lately Klappar has been out of sorts. I tried to ask him whats up and he won't really tell me whats going on. I think he misses his very best pal Klappette whom he has not seen in a very long while. You see since giraffes are not native to this region it is much more difficult to come by friends. To try and make up for it I give him lots of hugs and love but I think he needs a special giraffe pal. Maybe Klapette will consent to a supervised play date sometime. I hope so, because I would quite like to see a wonderful giraffe smile upon Klappars face for once.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Part 5 of 7)

Ok, lets talk about Harry Potter 5. I'll begin by saying, not JK's best work. Novel number 5, all 766 pages of it are not really filled will that much substance. If the whole series is looked at as a whole this installment is by far her worst. Ever hear the saying don't use 10 words when 4 will do? Apparently JK hasn't. Everything is long and drawn out in an almost painful way.

The parts of the story that are meant to be interesting and exciting aren't because she over writes them. Everything seems to be pushed a little too far. As far as I'm concerned this novel could have been truly amazing as we have just learned that our pal Voldy is on the loose again but is remaining all stealth at this point because he's all cunning and evil and shit. She does not give the reader enough info about this and rather wastes her time having Harry be all broody about the temperature of his porridge and other mundane things.

Harry's love interest is so poorly developed it begins and ends with hardly any information at all because once again Harry is being all broody about whether or not his glasses make him look fat. The parts which I find most exciting such as the DA and the ministry portion she either tells us too little or drags it out for too long.

While Harry is busy being a sour Sally the Order is out doing things which she tells us nothing about. Come on, I mean would you rather hear about the fact that Harry doesn't like the way his socks make his feet feel or highly trained Voldy fighting heroes? I'll take the latter. Anyway, the most exciting part of the story (when Harry uses his vast quantities of intelligence and leads his friends to the ministry of magic) goes on for ages. This women just doesn't know when to wrap it up. She goes on and on. The slick 6 go from room to room over and over again until finally the order shows up. I mean where the f were they? Aren't they just supposed to be waiting around for this type of shit (harry getting himself and others into trouble) to happen?

When Harry talks to Dumbledore in his office later he tells Harry that he is going to tell him everything. He tells him virtually nothing that the reader can't presume already as we've been reading this book for 700 pages now. I suppose since its Harry Potter I can't write it off as bad, but this is certainly not JK's best work.

The movie. Is quite bad to say the least. The acting isn't that bad in this one (other than Hermione, obviously- because just because you move your eyebrows around all over the place doesn't mean that you're acting. I wonder if I could become a movie star by moving my eyebrows copious amounts whenever I said words?). But I digress. I feel as though the watcher would once again be very confused as to the way in which things were happening as there was a lot of unexplained out of orderness. Why do the Weasley twins leave Hogwarts? In the novel its quite clear. Quiddich isn't present, they don't tell us anything really about OWLs until they're sitting in the exams writing them. Grawp is haphazardly placed into the storyline and could have been omitted seeing as they took out so many other things. I would have liked to see a further development of the whole Umbridge story line and took out something like Grawp for example. Instead they chose to try and get everything in and just do a little gloss over of it all, but a very poor gloss over.

Overall, JK is too long winded and the producers aren't winded enough in the right places.