Question #2

At the most I’m a glare,
I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

HOW DO YOU EXPRESS FEELINGS THAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF?

No but actually, how do you? Right now I am currently struggling with this. Its not easy to say out loud things that you feel at the best of times, so when you're scared shitless of them, what do you do?

Lets back up a second and have me grow a pair and let you in on the feeling that I'm currently avoiding: LOVE. Yes the big 4 letter, charged L-word. It was recently dropped upon me, and it took all my control to not sprint as fast as I could in the other direction, because who wants to deal with that, right?

But the problem is not that I'm not feeling those feelings too, but rather if I say them out loud to the person that should hear them, I've now opened myself up to be bashed around and if chosen to be have them used against me. Last time I felt those feelings and shared them, there was some major backfiring-- and it took a long time to get through it, so I'm not about to put myself in that situation again... kind of like a fool me once type of situation...

And I am terrified beyond reason that I'm having these thoughts and feelings, because already without telling the person I can, I am vulnerable, even if its only in my head. But maybe the fact that its already in your head, makes you just as vulnerable.

Perhaps simply because something happened to you before, doesn't mean that it has to happen again, and you just have to believe and take a chance on the feelings going on. And if the other person has already expressed the feelings maybe that's enough to mitigate those fears.

Expression of feeling only comes when one is ready I think, so since I seem to be afraid of them like none other, I suppose it means I'm not ready. This question was very poorly answered. I will get better.... or ya'll can give it a stab.