xeno

n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.

Don't dream it's over

When will this dream be over?

nee

A touch on the skin
leaves their bodies tingling
they beg, please, for more.

veritas

It is said that "the truth will set you free."

Since I don't know the truth, I suppose I'll never be free.

18.9

BMI is such a funny thing. Since muscle weighs more than fat, people who are are heavy in muscle weight could be classified as obese on the BMI scale. If you examine most professional or Olympic athletes they would be "obese" based upon their BMI.

Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in a really long time. For the past 4 months I have been doing muscle training and eating copious amounts of food. I wanted to be a ballin 140lbs when I got on the scale. Since I hadn't weighed myself in ages, I had no idea where I was at.

So to my shock and dismay, somehow I had lost more weight. Since May 1st, when I clocked in at 140lbs, I have somehow lost 12lbs. I'm not sure how this is possible when I have been doing weight bearing exercise, and eating a TON of food.

I'm beginning to think that there's something wrong with me. I know that stress is often a major factor in weight loss, but I would say that I'm far less stressed out now than I was last year. I'm only taking 3 classes, I know what to do at work (and am good at it), I can sleep as long as I like most days, and I'm planning the trip of a lifetime.

Perhaps I just need to drag my scrawny ass to the doctor. Ew. I hate going to the doctor. It pretty much sucks and Onatrio Healthcare has never really worked in my favour, but that rant is for another time. In conclusion if I loose as little as 3 pounds I would then be categorized as 'underweight' on the BMI scale. And while I know it isn't the best scale to measure weight health, there is a sense of foreboding with the word 'underweight.'

I think I have a problem

I love geography. For the most part, it's a mediocrely pompous discipline and I have enjoyed the vast majority of my classes over the course of my stay here in the department of geography and planning at the University of Toronto.

I say I think I have a problem, because over the past 4 years in this department I have developed a number of professor crushes.

It all began with the infamous professor Robert Lewis. He is a 50-something, British, wicked cool, super pompous, tenured professor with a ponytail who changed my life. Jokes, he didn't change my life, but he was pretty cool and put up with my (more than) frequent office visits. I'm pretty sure he thought I was out of my mind and in a constant state of rattled, but whatever he was relaxed about it. Two years later I still hold professor Lewis in just as high esteem.

Then came Damian Dupuy. I was not keen on taking stats to say the least. I spent a large chunk of my summer vacation believing I was going to fail in fact, as I hadn't taken math for about 5 years. A friend of mine told me, "noway, you'll be fine DD knows how to explain that shit to anyone." And it turns out he did. And I think my crush began because, he in fact made stats one of my favourite classes at University. He was young(ish), pretty cool, funny, and made the course material tangible. He would spend as much time as necessary with you until you understood something completely, which I really appreciated on a number of occasions.

My most recent professor crush (and last I suppose, as I am graduating this year), is for Professor Matt Farish. He is the youngest of the three, and I essentially want his life, in a nutshell. He is a geography academic, he has lived all over the country (and begrudgingly left BC awhile ago), has traveled most of the US and many other wicked cool places of the world, has no children, and looks fantastic for his age. I'm pretty sure I would sell my soul for his life. I recently attended his office hours and while I sometimes appear a bit rattled and "off the wall" in office hours (because I still haven't warmed up to the idea that profs won't in fact bite) he made me feel quite calm and at ease, which I truly appreciated.

There you have it, my little "problem." However now that I look more closely, I realize that all of these profs have something in common: I attended their office hours. And over the years I have certainly enjoyed, and taken a liking to profs whose offices hours I took the opportunity to attend. So, if you have never taken the opportunity to attend office hours I highly recommend it, just try not to fall head over heels for your professors.

Lost+

Coldplay=awesome. So here's a lil bit of Lost+ featuring JayZ

Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I'm across

Just because I’m hurting
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt
Doesn’t mean I don’t get what I deserved
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I’m just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
‘Cause a long may come
A bigger one

And you’ll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh and I’m just waiting until the firing stopped
Oh and I’m just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

[Jay-Z]
Aha, I gotcha, uh...
With the same sword they knight you, they gon' good night you with
Shit, that's only half if they like you
That ain't even the half what they might do
Don't believe me, ask Michael
See Martin, see Malcolm
See Biggie, see Pac, see success and its outcome
See Jesus, see Judas
See Caesar, see Brutus, see success is like suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide
If you succeed, prepare to be crucified
Media meddles, niggaz sue you, you settle
Every step you take, they remind you you're ghetto
So it's tough being Bobby Brown
To be Bobby then, you have to be Bobby now
And the question is, "Is to have had and lost
Better than not having at all?"
Because I'm...

Oh and I, just waiting ‘til the shine wears off
Oh and I, just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYY7Pu_ErTo&feature=related

The New York of Canada

My posting today, unlike most days is a direct commentary on the photo.

When Coors originally ran these ads (I believe back in 2009, in BC?) Torontonian's flipped a shit. People were blasphemized that on the whole Toronto folk were seen as cold. Needless to say, the ads didn't last long after gaining such a chilly (no pun intended-- well maybe a little) response.

I was reminded of this campaign when I saw a friends picture standing underneath one of the ads. When the campaign was originally run, I didn't really think much of it. I just figured haters gonna hate, then forgot about it.

Today, when I saw it again I actually chuckled. I'm not sure why people from Toronto have such a problem with it. Being from Toronto, I would say on the whole we aren't an overly friendly group of people. Some would argue that they shouldn't be lumped with the cold heartless souls of Toronto.

But then, I would ask that person: How often do you walk down the street and say "hi" to everyone you see (or at least give a friendly nod//smile)? When someone is seemingly in distress how often do you hurry by, assuming someone else will take care of it? I'm assuming the answer is probably either, never or seldom ever.

Now, maybe you truly aren't cold like the rest of us. Maybe you're a good spirit. But if you walked down the street saying "hello" to everyone you saw most people would be so caught off guard that they wouldn't even respond to you. That would probably be discouraging enough for me to stop trying quite quickly.

Now, those of you who get your panties in a knot when you see this, just laugh it off, because after having living in Toronto for 23 years, the people here I find to be pretty damn cold. And you're probably not an exception, and if you are maybe Toronto isn't the place for you...

Fading In

DO --you rock don't ever change.

You close your eyes
And they want you to speak
Of love and pain

But you're multiplied
By the lies that you keep
From fading in

Did you think that all your fear had gone and left you now
Now that time can take you away

The falling skies
In the dreams when you sleep
Alone again

And is the debt you've applied
Worth the secrets you keep
From fading in

Did you think that all your tears had gone and left you now
Now that time can take you away

And it's the ritual that you know
A familiar mask that you show
So they'll never get inside
To ask you why you're still alone

Oh, but there's a ritual that you break
For the chance that you're willing to take
That he must have made some mistake
When he said goodbye

They close their eyes
But you want them to speak

Globalization

I now have views from the following countries: Canada (obviously), US, Russia, Germany, UK, Ukraine, China, France, India, South Korea, and Latvia.

This is pretty amazing, and feels kind of weird. Why would people read what I have to say? Anyway, if you've ever been to my blog, you rock and keep coming back (if you like what you see of course). I've had almost 1000 page views since July which makes me feel a little cool, which is totally not possible, since I am about the most uncool person ever...

YAY! Please enjoy these wonderful penguins as a token of my gratitude.

So I don't know if this is weird, but do you maybe want to grab a coffee?

Earlier in the school year I was driving with my youngest sister and she randomly asked me, "how do you meet people?" I was a little thrown by the question, and I (intelligently) replied "huh?" Then she said, "ya, like in general, where do you find people to be your friend and just meet or date or whatever?" And I wasn't really sure what she meant because I've never really had to meet people. Whenever someone new enters my life like a friend or whoever, it just happens and I don't really think about how it happened.

For example, I recently made friends with this girl that I work with. She's really cool and we've become nice friends, but if I were to think about how it happened, I have no clue, it just did somehow.

Then yesterday I had the experience I required to answer her question. I was sitting at home, bundled in my chinchilla, just doing some readings when the doorbell rang. I went to the door and this guy (probably about 23 yrs old- so my age) was at the door who worked for some Ontario green power thing.

He needed to look at my hot water heater and I was obviously sketched out a little bit, so the conversation probably went on a little longer than it would have at most doors. And this guy seemed smart funny and was quite attractive. Then BAM I realized there was definite flirting going on! Then I thought hmm, wouldn't it be the weirdest ever if I asked him if he wanted to have coffee (which I obviously did not because I was too busy having my epiphany to get my shit together).

So, then he left after quite a few laughs, and him not getting to see the hot water heater. When I closed the door I finally realized and understood what my sister meant. How do you meet people that aren't completely and totally foisted upon you like my work pal was?

Fictional Characters

Here is a list of my top 10 fictional characters. After much thought and careful consideration I think it's complete. They are in no particular order:

1. Snape
2. Voldemort
3. Darth Vader
4. Melman
5. Jack Donaghy
6. Liz Lemon
7. C3P0
8. Dwight Schrute
9. Gilbert Blythe
10. P Sawyer

After typing this list out, I realized that there are only 2 women on this list. Sad. There should be more legit fictional female characters out there.

INXS greatest hits

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Australian rock band INXS, but they are likely on my top 10 list of all time favourite bands. Those of you haters, go choke yourself with a guitar string. I joke, but actually they're really good and I feel like they aren't appreciated enough in North America.

In 1994 they released a greatest hits album, which I would have to say is one of the best greatest hits albums out there. Most often when you encounter greatest hits albums there are a bunch of good songs, then ones that aren't so awesome.

With INXS' greatest hits album (which obviously only includes titles from before the suicide of Michael Hutchence), all the songs are legit. First of all, I would like to say unless you have a copy of the CD and an awesome sound system the music will be compromised.

What makes this album so great is there is an awesome mix of dance, rock and ballad (type) music. If music could be curated, this CD was curated beautifully. Now I do warn you, some of the music does have a very distinctly 80's sound to it. But, that being said the lyrics are still great and the songs are awesome to bounce around to.

Some of the songs however envoke these feelings of 'blast to the past,' despite many of them being written before I was even born. "Shine like it does," for some reason brings me back to my childhood. No idea why, but something I find extremely interesting. "Beautiful Girl," is likely one of my favourite INXS songs, and rightfully so. This song must be listened to in high quality. Youtube does not do this song justice. The piano at the beginning is so intense, you can practically feel the strings of the grand vibrating as vast quantities of emotion flow through you that seem to have erupted out of thin air.

If you have a chance to give the CD a listen I highly recommend it. Rating: 8.5

Nice Neck

This is my new giraffe. I don't have a name for him yet because I only just met him. I spent the whole night with him and I'm still not sure what to call him. It needs to be special because giraffes are very special creatures. If anyone can think of a name, feel free to drop me a line// comment to let me know.

The Tourtured 90's Musician

Lets bring back that image of the tortured 90's musician. Why? Because the 90's were pretty awesome. Also most of my favourite musicians came out of the 90's, save for a select few (like Beethoven and Chopin, and some classics like Freddy Mercury and Supertramp). Anyway, today I'm thinking that Dido put on an excellent front with the whole beautiful, but depressed and tortured vibe. So without further adieu, here's a lil "Here with Me."

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want but I can't hide
I won't go I won't sleep
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
I won't leave I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed,
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want,
But I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep,

I can't breathe,
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide,
I cannot be until you're resting here with me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSu5nAQ7uZw


Don't question the pic. Just roll with it.

Winter Friends

What the heck winter? You were holding it together for so long, so well. I guess this may have something to do with Friday the 13th. Oh well, the beautiful outdoor (running friendly) weather couldn't last forever I suppose. Afterall, this is Toronto and it wouldn't be Toronto without the roads turning into a huge slushfest.

So I decided to make the most of this winter wonderland today and took myself for a walk. And what do you know I viewed some adorable animals on this walk. My house is quite close to a duck nesting area, and these duck friends decided to stick around this winter. I stood watching my duck pals for awhile because 1) I thoroughly enjoy standing upon small bridges and 2) there were duck pals to watch.

There were ever so many of them all floating and bobbing about ever so cutely. Just making their little quacking noises. Then amidst the fleet of duck friends I saw the most special of duck friends. It was an ay duck friend. If I were a duck, that is the duck I would have been. If that duck were a human it would have been me.

I'm can't really explain it, but this duck seemed to possess many of the same characteristics that I do! Then out of nowhere this other duck (a male) came along and bullied my duck twin. He just snapped his beak at her and chomped down on her back and she had to swim away double plus fast. Then he didn't even graze upon the same tendrils she was grazing on. I was mad at him. But I couldn't do anything because I didn't want to scare any of the other peaceful duck pals and I especially didn't want to scare my duck twin.

So then I decided to go home and play with my chien in the back yard. She was being fairly lame today, but a little better than normal because dogs love snow. I wish I had a dog. Or a duck, like Joey and Chandler in Friends.

Dosage

Oh the 90's...

RUN

Are these times contagious
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize I've waited for
Now with the hours passing
There's nothing left here to ensure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yea, I run

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity?
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now in this world of purchase
I'm goin' to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run?
Have I got a long way to run?
Yea, I run
Yea, I run

Have I got a long way?
Have I got a long way?
Have I got a long way to run?
Have I got a long way to run?

Yea, I run
(Have I got a long way to run?)
Yea, I run
(Have I got a long way to run?)
Yea, I run
(Have I got a long way to run?)
Yea, I run
(Have I got a long way to run?)

Slim Shady

Rap: overall, I usually not a huge fan of it. Buuuut, I do have a few rappers (obviously, exclusively east coast rap as its on the whole much better than west coast rap) that I'll prance on by, on occasion. My top east coasters are Jay-Z and Eminem.

I find that my appreciation for rap only happens when there are clever lyrics and sociopolical/cultural references made. And I find that on the whole Jay-Z and Eminem are fairly adept that making them. Biggie (even though he's a west coast rapper) also makes some pretty good references too. So my advice if you're thinking of getting into rap, start with these guys and you'll be less like to be disappointed.

So here's a pic of slim shady and a lil without me. I chose him because he's pretty much sex.

Obie Trice/Real Name No Gimmicks

2 trailer park girls go round the outside
round the outside, round the outside
2 trailer park girls go round the outside
round the outside, round the outside

Guess whos back, back again
Shadys back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back
Guess who's back...

I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
see Marshall no more they want Shady I'm chopped liver
well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a
shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
when I'm rocking the table while he's operating
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back,
I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husbands heart problem's complicating
So the FCC wont let me be or let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips fuck that,
cum on your lips and some on your tits and get ready cuz this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits Fuck YOU DEBBIE!

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me

Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
they start feeling like prisoners, helpless,
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution, pollutin the air waves a rebel
so let me just revel and bask, in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back
fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me

A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit, that shit.
Chris Kirkpatrick you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards, and Moby
you can get stomped by Obie, you 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since
Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley, to do Black Music so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
there's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me

The music video is of absolute hilarity (and weirdness) and will not disappoint:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY

***Now on a side note, if you are a fan of Dr Dolderman the lively and hilarious prof that teaches psy100 (Introduction to Psychology) at the University of Toronto, you might want to check out his rap. He's pretty much an Eminem in the making:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ju_kLxlr3w&feature=share

Its Britney Bitch

So today I was riding home from school just listening to my music, which was on shuffle and Britney Spears Stronger graced my presence. Now I probably haven't listened to this song for about ten years and today I thought, what the heck? Over the course of the song, it took all my strength (no pun intended) not to burst out laughing. You should take a listen everyone. It'll be a blast to the past like none other.

Hush, just stop
There's nothing you can do or say, baby
I've had enough
I'm not your property as from today, baby
You might think that I won't make it on my own
But now I'm

Stronger, than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I, I'm stronger

Than I ever thought that I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn't really care 'bout me
You might think that I can't take it, but you're wrong
'Cause now I'm

Stronger, than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I, I'm stronger

Come on, now
Oh, yeah

Here I go, on my own
I don't need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own now
I don't need nobody, not anybody
Here I go, here I go, here I go
Alright
Here I go, here I go, here I go

Stronger, than yesterday
It's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I'm stronger, than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
Now I'm stronger, than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I'm stronger!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJWtLf4-WWs

sex, drugs, and ROCK AND ROLL (part 3 of 3)

Let me reach back to the origin of rock and roll as it emerged in the early 1950's. Traditional rock and roll drew upon aspects of blues, jazz, bebop and many of the popular sounds of the 20's and 30's. What helped to really drive this movement forward was the introduction of more predominant back beats, such as that of the snare drum.

During the 1950's and 60's it quickly became the sound of teenagers. As we all know, what is now simply referred to as rock music had a significant impact on the social and cultural movements of the time. Much of the music was used to challenge sociocultural paradigms that existed, and provided a commentary upon the movements taking place.

Over the course of the past 60 years rock and roll has branched out and in turn formed many sub genres from alternative rock, to punk rock, to metal, and of the list obviously goes on and on. What I find disappointing today however, is the sheer volume of rock available to the general public. With programs like garage band and audacity pretty much anyone can make, record and release music to the public.

While what music is considered 'good' is of course relative, the sheer volume of crap available makes it much more difficult to find something truly amazing. These days most rock sounds the same. I seldom hear unique chords, be it progressions, combinations, and the like. As someone who experiments with and composes music when it tickles my fancy, I certainly understand how difficult it often is to try and come up with something unique, that sounds unreal.

Most people I would venture to say will never make it to that point in their lives. I know I have not, and I'm not expecting to. But I'm not about to foist myself headfirst into the music industry and think its amazing. Perhaps at our origins of rock and roll, it was only the lucky few that were able to force their way through that musical barrier into stardom, because they were considered great.

If you compare the amount of technology available at the time to the number of celebrated artists, I'm sure most people could find a correlation. I'm glad that more people are having the opportunity to showcase their music with greater levels of technology, because amongst those that may not have had a lucky break are some extremely talented musicians. It just frustrates me slightly that there are oodles of people who think so highly of themselves and believe that their music is amazing, and we must sift through it to find the greatness.

Something Real

The smell you left on my pillow is gone, and I want it back.

You sexually assaulted me in a dream not long ago.

I've never been afraid of flying.

Florida is the same every damn time.

What does it mean to feel alive?

I don't think 100 men could have done this alone.

I had a lesbian dream with my bestie.

Il fait froid.

Annie is such a bananie.

Life is just a series of coincidences that are making me crazy.

Target is pretty awesome, but it shouldn't come to Canada.

I don't think there has been a day yet that I haven't had at least one small thought about you.

Planning a trip is a lot of work.

Grapefruit is the best fruit.

If I had just 3 breaths left, what would I say with them?

Double standards really suck, especially with gender.

60-degrees.

Dijonaisse.

Even though I hate the incensey smell of your guyses new place, when I come home sometimes as I'm falling asleep I can smell the lingering sniffs on my hair and that's ok.

A shadow can't erase the sun.

C'est pathetique.

How was I ever such a chatterbox? I don't really enjoy talking that much.

Please put your seat in the upright position.

My current job has put the cherry on top towards my hatred for kids.

I also now know I never ever want to be a teacher.

I don't understand why you don't let me see certain things. It's not like I don't know you have a girlfriend and attend all of these super amazing life parties with your high school peeps.

If every situation were like the one before...

Chad.

I'm quite disappointed my lesbian crush is straight. She would have been a lot of fun.

Where's your inspiration gone?

I've got to get out of this place while I still have time.

You'll always be my best friend, even though you already aren't.

I'm pretty fucking tired.

Haas avocado.

I hate new years far more than any other recognized holiday.

All 50 states.

Skating isn't all that bad.

I can't feel the numbness, so I don't really feel. What am I really missing anyway?

Here is now, and now is here.

I walk around wearing my invisible disguise.

Sometimes I wonder if it's easier to hate someone than to try and figure out how to exist in time and space with them.

Oh cool, it's 2012.

I'm beginning to lose my faith in people. I try to be kinder than I need to be, because you never know what kind of shit people are dealing with. What disappoints me is lately I've experienced meaner attitudes directed my way.

Animal farm.

Every now and again I think that I can't wait to get home from vacation, then I remember, home to what?

Get the fuck out of my dreams!

I can't remember the taste and feel of you anymore. But I'm not allowed to or shouldn't be thinking about that anyway.

In case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

In case that I dream of a better place.

Crab grass and sand pipers.

At least I have the approval of one person (my aunt) in my family for being single.

Winter hair in vogue.

I will lose my sense of direction.

Just try to feel the music.

And don't be so nice.

Time can take me away.

Characteristics of first born children.

Whose going to watch me fashion show?

How did I not see it, when everyone else did?

It's zero degrees in Florida tonight.

You're all the same.

One more semester of this shit, then it's finally over.

Warm comfy socks rock.

No one knows for certain what will be.

I don't know if I feel any better today than I did 6 months ago about what you did to me. The dullness and disappointment are at least followed by this odd numbing feeling now.

I can say without shame and regret that I hate my grandfather.

No one gets to come in.

Finally home, from probably one of the worst family vacations!